Fad or Bad?: Let the Mullet Die!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Let the Mullet Die!

If we all ban together- we can let the mullet die gracefully. This is one style that should have been extinct long, long ago!

If your hair grows in too thin on top- do not take that as an invitation to simply cut it short on top and let it grow long and scraggly in the back. Somehow this “trend” (and I use this word loosely) started and it HAS TO STOP.

Thanks to www.mulletsgalore.com we now have names for all the different mullet classifications.

For example:

There is the classic mullet- 01. classic mullet: this specimen is a clear demonstration of a classic mullet. Note how this mullet proudly displays his exotic plumage while in a menacing stance. Classic indeed. The mesh tank-top, digital watch, silver chain, and molester mustache all add points to this fine specimen's overall look and mulletude. Thank you to www.mulletsgalore.com for this description
The camaro mullet-

2. CamaroMullet: The CamaroMullet used to have full reign over the mullet brethren, but that was back in the 70's and 80's. This species has fallen from grace since, but can still be seen enjoying NASCAR events and shopping at Kragen, or up in the attic cooking up crank. Distinguishing features include: a molester mustache (peach fuzzy), tight-fitting acid wash jeans, and an ever-present key ring hanging from the belt loop.


Feel the mulletude emanating through your computer screen from this rare pic.

It is not recommended you confront the CamaroMullet, for they are very aggressive and cannot be hurt (this might be due to the frequent use of methamphetamines, angel dust, etc.). Thank you to www.mulletsgalore.com for this description


The business mullet- 4. businessmullet a.k.a. safety cut: These mullets want it all: business in the front, party in the back.


When at work, their mulletude offends and annoys their co-workers, but luckily (and not coincidentally), these mullets are rarely in any position of real power (though they tend to think they are).

Interesting creatures, their hair is short enough not to offend the boss, but long enough to keep their rebellious comrades from becoming suspicious. Thank you to: www.mulletsgalore.com for this information

And my personal favorite!

The femme mullet- or femullet (fem-mullet): there are many varieties of the femullet--and contrary to popular belief, not all femullets are dykemullets, but all dykemullets are definitely femullets. Here we see a powerdykemullet. Thank you to: www.mulletsgalore.com for this information


This is never a good idea. There are so many ways to style one’s hair without leaning towards the mullet, that I’m still baffled every time I see one of these offenders on the street.

Please! No more mullets!

~D

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey 'D' --
It would have been nice for you to write up your own descriptions rather than lift them from the site. Get creative!

Anonymous said...

The mullet will always live on in the pits of the Deep South and Northern Maine, not to mention our hearts. It serves a function. Keeping the neck warm, but the head cool. Ahh.